Sunday morning... it's 61 outside the house right now, the puppy is playing with the kitty, Bride and I have our coffee and watching Bobby Flay on Food Network.

We cleaned up the house yesterday morning and prepared for MOCF (My Only Childhood Friend) to come over for her birthday dinner. My Bride found four magnificent ribeye cuts at the grocery store, and we bought a new tablecloth and napkins plus a small flower display for the dining room table for the four of us (MOCF's hubby finally came to dinner, too!). The weather was perfect, so in proper Southern tradition when came time for me to fire up the grill we all went outside to watch the show. The flames were leaping as the steaks cooked, the Jack Daniels marinate and Jack Daniels spices just making the whole patio smell incredible!...

It's always a treat to watch dinner guests eat themselves silly, between my steaks and Bride's appetizers and side dishes and dessert, plus a few bottles of wine... It was a good Saturday.

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And now, my regular Man-Made Global Warming review:

Yes, we went to Biltmore on Thursday and returned on Friday. We took the convertable, which with the top down allowed us to travel without using the car's air conditioner, which prevented additional contribution to man-made global warming. However, we did use two week's worth of gasoline in my car for this trip, which did contribute to man-made global warming, and I was prepared to write my check to Father Algore of the High Church of Global Warming, except that the temperatures leaving home were twenty degrees below the 150-year average and when we reached Biltmore the temperature was 8 degrees below their 150-year average, so I tore up that check.

Friday morning we awoke to return to the Biltmore estate to tour the gardens with all the lilies and tulips in bloom, and actually found a fine layer of pollen on my car, both of which were proof positive that there was no man-made global warming because otherwise the plants at the estate would already be keeled over dead from the heat and there would be no pollen on my car, so I requested a  refund of prior carbon credits purchased from the High Church of Global Warming for the man-made global warming that did not occur.

We returned home Friday to perfect temperatures (just one degree above the 150-year average locally) and sunny skies, so I sent a penny to the High Church of Global Warming because I had a weak moment. But then the evening temperatures fell and when I realized it would cost me 42 cents to send the High Church of Global Warming a penny out of compassion, I instead kept the penny because Father Algore is so rich he probably doesn't know what a penny is.

The local high temperature for April 19 is 75 degrees, according to www.accuweather.com, or 76 degrees, according to The Weather Channel, and the official local high yesterday was 79 (accuweather) or 77 (weather.com). So, yesterday we were experiencing man-made global warming heat of 2 to 4 degrees higher than the 150-year average depending on who one accepts as the official and correct record-keeper. But, since the record temperature for April 19 is 90 degrees, and we were nowhere near that temperature yesterday, I will assume that because I grilled four steaks yesterday (twice what I usually grill) that I caused the temperature increase above the 150-year average and thus caused man-made global warming tempertures on Saturday.

However, I do not feel compelled to buy any carbon credits from Father Algore because, frankly, all four of us ate the carbon residue that was on the steaks from being cooked on the grill. Also, yesterday we were forecast to have afternoon thunderstorms, which did not happen, which supports man-made global warming. However, last night after we went to bed we had rain while we were asleep, rain which was quiet enough to not wake me, and this morning we had brilliant green grass to greet me when I took the puppy out for her morning business and get the paper. This deep green grass was contrary to man-made global warming, as due to man-made global warming I'm not supposed to have healthy green grass. So, man-made global warming was canceled out.

This morning we have the house opened up to enjoy the comfy cool temps of spring, which are in complete contradiction to the High Church of Global Warming doctrine. Then, while watching The Weather Channel, the temperature graphs show half the country with temps above the local averages and the other half below the local averages. So with all those varying temperatures, the country overall is running at about... average.

I have canceled my subscription to the High Church of Global Warming newsletter.

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